essays

On the waxing and waning of symbolic meaning

Colorado College's Cutler Hall The morning after I graduated from Colorado College, I walked around campus and noticed that the buildings had changed. It wasn’t that new construction had taken place—rather, it was as though some symbolic layer of meaning had been removed from the buildings, their earthen reality revealed. Apart from the purpose the… Continue reading On the waxing and waning of symbolic meaning

essays

Chiron in Cancer and my lifelong struggle with relationships

When I was conceived, my parents’ marriage was already at risk of dissolving, and one of my parents has characterized me as a “save the marriage” type baby. Recently, I have thought of what sorts of messages I might have intuited even from the womb: the sense that home itself was unstable, impermanent, that relationships… Continue reading Chiron in Cancer and my lifelong struggle with relationships

fiction

Zen bootyism and the case of the disappearing cheese

There once was a monk who taught exclusively by way of flatulence. “Master, what do I do when the mind overwhelms the heart?,” one of his students would ask him, and a toot would be the reply. “Master, why does the mind create suffering?” Toot-toot. “Master, what do I do when the longing for sex… Continue reading Zen bootyism and the case of the disappearing cheese